Rune Factory 3: The Case of the Rainbow Vodka
by Winter's ice
Summary: It was just one of those nice days for Micah, but of course something would have to ruin it. After remembering a job he had to do for Daria, he did it. Too bad for him he wasn't expecting to find her drunk off this rainbow vodka she bought. Of course Micah ends up dealing with her odd drunken antics, from being painted on to aliens. Though, there was one thing he wasn't expecting.


**This people, has to be the oddest thing I've ever written, and it's the first thing I've done in a while. The idea of this came up during a school trip when returning from Washington D.C. (It was like a ten hour back and forth from Pennsylvania) anyhow, my one bud, K-chan, or that-one-awesome-kid here, came up with the question, "If you had to randomly yell something, what would it be?" I said panda, she said vodka, and our other bud Jan, or M****oonlit Neve here, said rainbow. Then somehow rainbow and vodka got mixed together, and the thought, "What would happen if Daria got drunk on rainbow vodka?" and so this was born, and so enjoy this random piece! **

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**Date Published: 2/21/13  
Word Count: 5,232  
****Page Count: 9**

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**The Case of the Rainbow Vodka**

"Ahh," spoke a voice from a small figure with bright blond hair with a pair of just as bright blue eyes, "Today was a good day!" he said in a chipper tone while stretching his small body. The male that was rather feminine that was currently speaking was of course the main character, Micah the amnesic. He was currently walking back to his home after a nice and relaxing day of fishing by the lake with the fishing siblings.

The sun in the sky was slowly setting in the orange mixed with red sky, along with some big and fluffy clouds floating above his head. At the same time there was a nice wind flying along, which also happened to ruffle his hair a bit. This day was a rather calm and relaxing one for him unlike usual. Majority of the time he would end up doing some sort of odd job, running all over creation, ending up fighting some monsters, or some how end up being drugged by a cretin witch in town. Not today though, he didn't get dragged into some odd job that said person could probably do on their own if they weren't too lazy. He didn't have to fight any of the monsters that run around the strange areas that defied much logic around the town. That, and he was very happy he wasn't drugged into being some sort of guinea pig by God knows what type of drug. Yup, this was one of those rare days where everything was peaceful and relaxing, how nice. And this was the type of day that was perfect for going to bed early and getting a good night's sleep while being curled up like a little kitty.

When he reached his farm, which happened to be directly under a very healthy looking giant tree which also doubled as his home, he placed all of the fish into the shipping bin so they could be sold. Though, a question happened to pop into his head, _"How do these things never go bad in there?"_ but he quickly dropped the thought. As long as he was making money that is all that really matters. That, and if he questions the logic in this village, who knows if some mysterious guy's in suits will show up and drag him far, very far away.

He quickly glanced around his farm, everything looked to be in order. The only thing that caught his eye was a bunch of colored grass sitting happily in a part of untitled fertile land. When he saw those there, a little bell sounded off in his brain, reminding him of something he has been meaning to do.

_"That's right, Daria asked me to bring over some more color grass for her so she could make more paint,"_ he thought to himself while walking over to the grass. He could just wait till tomorrow to do it, but he might as well just get it done with sooner rather than later. He bent down to pick up the grass, which varied from bright red to mild orange to plain old green. While he was at it, he checked the quality of the soil, and determined that it was still healthy for his precious crops.

After he collected the grass and placed it into his bag filled with other items, he stood up and rubbed his hands together to rid the remaining soil on his hands. He looked up at the sky with the mixing colors that was slowly disappearing into the darkness of night, and soon the little twinkling stars would be coming out. He changed the direction in which he was looking at after a moment and began to walk towards his next, yet unexpected, destination.

It didn't take much time for him to reach his destination; the village of Sharance, which he called home wasn't all that big, so getting around is rather simple. He walked up to the lone house in the bright green forest area with the rather eccentric design, which happened to suit the rather eccentric owner of said home. He knocked on the wooden door and waited to see if a voice would call out, but he heard none. Hmm, perhaps she wasn't home at the moment? He tried knocking again, and yet again he received no reply, all he heard was the sound of the wind rustling the trees that surrounded him.

"I guess I can just drop it off and leave a note," he said out loud while he reached his hand down towards the doorknob and slowly opened the door. It wasn't a big deal; no one ever locked his or her front door for some reason, so if she has a problem, it's her own fault for not locking the door. When his bright sky blue eyes meet the inside of the house that he was now accustomed to seeing, he saw something he wasn't expecting. He saw the usual items laying around, the dust collecting in cretin unkept spots with either old work or tools, but one thing did seemed out-of-place. The owner of the house seemed to be staggering around her home without her trade marked hat. It appeared that she was looking for something; he then noticed a bottle of some sorts sitting empty of the table with a small glass sitting right next to it.

Micah walked inside the house, and took a closer look at the empty bottle, which had some sort of strange writing on it. The label on the bottle stated, "Водка радуги", whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, he had no freaking clue nor did he know how to pronounce it, but he had an idea of what it was. The bottle looked like the type that would hold some sort of alcoholic beverage. Right next to it was a small glass that looked like something a person would drink said beverage with and if he's right that could mean one thing…

"Please don't tell she's drunk," he mumbled to himself, praying that he was wrong, he did not want to deal with a drunk Daria, she was crazy when she was sober, just how would she act if she was drunk? She would probably be off the loony scale if she was really drunk, and he did not want to stick around to see that.

So, Micah wanting to make sure that the remainder of his day would go without incident, he quietly placed the grass on the table, while looking over to the odd and possible drunken elf that was doing something. He couldn't quite tell, but it looked like she was now on the floor looking through a box. After he examined her actions and pondering what she was up to, he turned around towards the door and walked as quietly as possible.

He was about to place his hand on the doorknob when a voice shattered his notion of it being a day without incident when he heard, "Huh? Is that…my ass…ass…what was that word…ass…ah, assistant?"

Micah turned his head over to his friend who called out to, her voice somewhat slurred, her glossy eyes looking straight at him, and he noted a red tint to her face, yeah, he's super screwed. Oh, and he couldn't help but mentally chuckled, the way she was saying ass right then was funny to him. It's not often you hear the people around here swear, it's as if they are in some all aged game and refrained from improper language for the children.

"Yeah, it's me," he said simply, turning his body away from the door so he was facing her, "I was just dropping off some of the grass you needed," well, he's caught, now what?

She just looked at him; looking like she had absolutely no clue what he was talking about, "Grass? Grass for what?" she asked him, turning her head to the side, and it appeared she was thinking about it but it seemed she wouldn't remember until she asked, "Are we going to smoke it or somethin'?"

Micah sighed and faced palmed while saying, "The grass is for your paint," he stated simply, yeah, she's out of it, and especially if she thinks that he brought it so they could smoke it. He thought for a moment though, _"Just how the hell did she come up with that idea?"_

He really doesn't want to deal with her but he just couldn't leave her like this. If she can't even remember what she uses the grass for, then who knows what she does remember? What if she decides to do something reckless and hurt herself? Or even worse, she may even try to smoke the colored grass, sure it's highly unlikely it'll actually affect her, but still he couldn't just leave her without any supervision. In this moment Micah had a thought floating threw his brain,_ "Why must I be such a good guy? Oh well, being nice is better than having an annoying cricket telling me what I should have done instead while making me feel guilty."_

She just gave him a, "What the hell are you talkin' 'bout?" face then it dawned on her, "Oh yeah…my paint! My paint! I love my paint!" she said in a drunken yet cheerful way. She got up from the ground in a wobbly way and stumbled over to the grass, picked it up, and then started to sing happily while stumbling around in what looked like a very all over the place circle, "Paint, paint~ oh how I love my paint! And how I love painting! Painting, oh painting, how fun!" and she looked like she was off in la la land.

_"Okay, she's not a crazy drunk, just a cheerful drunk, that's a good sign," _he thought to himself while watching her frolic around holding her grass as if she was in a field of flowers, and then he asked, "Daria, just what did you have to drink?"

She stopped playing with the grass and turned her head over to him, smiled a huge smile, and threw the grass all over the place while declaring in a goofy tone, "Rainbow~!"

Micah turned his head in a cute sideways fashion, "You drank a rainbow?" he asked, just what is she rambling about? How can someone drink a rainbow? What's next? She's going to tell him she ate a leprechaun and stole all of his gold?

"Yeah!" she said while stumbling cheerfully over to him while chanting and waving her arms like a child, "Rainbow, rainbow, rainbow vodka!"

Micah just looked at her, with some surprise in his eyes, "You drank rainbow vodka?" he asked, well, he never heard of that before. Just how could someone make vodka look like a rainbow? He knew it could be made to have a different color depending on what vegetable it's made with, but not this. Well, at least it explains why she's drunk, she loves her rainbows just so much she's willing to drink some sort of unknown vodka with some odd writing style on it. Though, just what was she thinking when she did that, "Just where did you get it from?"

She was finally directly in front of him, bouncing up and down, and looking extremely goofy, "Yup, yup! It was…um…it was really yummy, but it didn't taste like a rainbow," she then looked at the floor and then back at him, "I bought it from some dude with a funky accent and a scarf!"

Micah just looked at her, she just randomly bought some mysterious vodka from some traveling guy with an odd accent who she had no clue who he was? That, and just who wears a scarf when it's not even winter? Yeah, that was a smart thing to do, and well, just how is someone suppose to know what a rainbow is meant to taste like? Ah well, she's out of it, its kind of pointless to question it. There is no logic behind drunkenness, though it is good for a good chuckle. Anyhow, after a hand went to his face again and he sighed, and said, "Okay, so you bought vodka from some stranger and drank the whole bottle?"

"I sure didn't drink the whole bottle!" she stated incorrectly (or was she trying to talk in opposite speech but it just didn't change colors?) while somewhat losing what she had left of her balance banged into the table which cause her to mumble, "Ouch, stupid table attacking its master!"

"Okay Daria, I think you should get to bed so you don't crash into anything else or hurt yourself," he stated while walking to where she was and placed his arm around her side so he could help her walk and not crash into something.

"Oh, is my assistant taking me to bed? How, kinky!" she giggled happily.

Micah's face couldn't help but go red after that little statement, it's not like he was planning anything like that! He's not the type of guy that would take advantage of a drunken girl with…his eyes couldn't help but wonder over to her chest area that was almost basically in his face…nice assets. He began to talk, still rather embarrassed and a little uncomfortable, "I'm not talking about that! I'm just taking you to your bed so you can relax and go to sleep! Not only that, I won't have to worry about you crashing into anything else!"

"That's my assistant, always taking care of and worrying about his master!" she said in a sing-song voice, while getting out of his grasp and stumbling over to where she was before, sat on the floor yet again and was back to looking through the box.

Micah wondering just what she was up to walked over to where she was, which was actually right by her bed, and saw the box she was looking through. It had a variety of things, mainly art stuff like paint in containers and brushes, but other things as well. Wondering just what she need in the box he kneeled down next to her and watched her actions. He saw her shift through the box, after a few seconds she pulled out some art stuff out. She then stood up and walked, well, more like waddled like a cute little penguin that somehow drank some booze, over to the empty canvas on the easel. She placed a container of paint on the stand by the easel and opened it, thought it did take a few tries, and placed the brush in and started mumbling, "La la la, painting is fun~!"

Micah got up, walked over to her location and watched her actions, her hand movements where all over the place, and the same thing could be said about whatever she was making. Whatever it was looked like some weird and distorted green thing, and it wasn't like anything she normally made. Sure most of that stuff was weird, but at least she made that while she was sober, "Now what are you doing?" he asked, pondering just what type of reaction he'll get out of her.

"I'm making a gift for the aliens!" she squealed happily, "I have to make our alien friends happy or they'll kill us all! They'll torture us or make us into food or use us as sex slaves or for some super freaky experiments!" she said that just as cheerfully with the same slurred and out-of-it tone, and it was well, a little too cheery sounding, "Just ask the one right next to you!"

Micah was currently bearing the face of a person who just heard something that sounded like it belonged in some sort of off-the-wall science fiction story made by a person who was probably on something. He just sighed yet again, and thought, _"Where did the aliens thing come from?" _and then turned his head to his right, and then to his left. Okay, say on the off-chance there could have been an alien, he certainly didn't see one what-so-ever. Now she was seeing things, just great, "Daria, I don't see anyone or anything here except for you."

"Oh, he's there silly, he's right next to you! It's the guy who looks just like you who's also standing right next to you! Wait," she paused and turned her head, "If he looks just like you does that mean it's your twin? Or," now she had a shocked look on her face and gasped, "The aliens are disguising themselves as us! They choose you as the first sacrifice! I have to hurry and make the offering before they do who knows what to you!" now she saw moving her hands in an even quicker format, doing whatever her drunken brain thought was best.

Micah was rather surprised by that whole alien statement thing; guess her eyesight is joining her brain and motor skills in the drunken world. Despite the whole thing being loopy, it was rather funny, who would have thought about aliens coming and trying to devour them all? Well, or other odd things, it was rather entertaining in its own strange way. He just watched the drunken elf go about her odd painting, the strange alien like thing was surrounded by what appeared to be a bunch of women…what?

"Um, Daria, why's the alien surrounded by a bunch of girls?" he asked with a turn of his head, what else is going on through her head right now?

"They're there to keep the alien happy! And it'll keep him from trying to take you as his wife! I can't let a alien take you away from me!" she yelled with slurred determination.

"The alien wants me to be his wife? The alien should be able to tell I'm a guy if he's taking my form," he stated while playing along, why does everyone always consider him the feminine type? That, and why must he be the wife? Does he look Finnish or something? He is a dude, a guy, he has male parts down there, and he's not a girl! Oh, and that's interesting, she's protective over him, how nice.

"The alien thinks you're a girl due to your cuteness! Oh, and aliens can't tell what your gender is!" she said while turning her head and arm over to him and hitting him in the face with the paintbrush. After she did that, she started to paint green whiskers on his face, "If I make you look like a cat maybe the alien won't find you!" and then she started to hum happily, he didn't seem to really care if he wanted to be painted on or not.

Micah wasn't sure of what he should say or do for that matter, he just stood there and let her paint green whiskers on his face, though how are whiskers alien proof?

As soon as she finished her painting he asked her with a turning of his head, "Well, am I alien proof now?" he paused for a moment, thinking about what he should say, "And thanks for the compliment," he stated with a faint hint of red on his face. The people in the small village would usually compliment him on his cuteness, but it always made him feel embarrassed.

"Yup yup, the aliens won't come to take you away from me now!" she said happily while placing down the paintbrush, she then stumbling over to him and embracing him in a hug.

He was a little surprised by her actions, but he didn't mind. In her drunken mind she defeated the evil aliens that wanted to take away her precious assistant, so that's a good thing. He just returned the hug, enjoying the warmth of another person, and asked, "Why did you want to save me from the aliens?" let's just hope she doesn't say something like, "A master needs her assistant," well, if she was sober she might have said that, but he wasn't sure what a drunken person would say, _"It would probably be something off the wall like everything else she said today."_

The reply came quickly, and he wasn't expecting what she said, it caught him completely off guard indeed, "Cause I love my assistant!" was all the drunken elf said.

That sentence, what she just said, did he hear that right? Yes, he did hear that right, she said it's because she loves him…it's probably the vodka talking. People always say the strangest and the most random things while intoxicated. Though, he still liked it. That sentence made his heart flutter; it was like a caterpillar that just transformed into a vibrant butterfly which was going to spread its wings for the first time inside his stomach. Maybe it was because he couldn't remember the last time someone said something like that to him or it was because of what he felt inside.

A warm and vibrant smile crossed his features, he was enjoying the warmth of another person even more than before and he replied, "And your assistant loves you," he wasn't sure why he felt compelled to say that. It was just one of those things that he felt like he needed to say. Maybe it was because he did truly love her, even though she was eccentric, bossy at times and demanding, she was still someone he truly enjoyed being with. It's funny how the heart works, is it not?

Though, he was happy that she was drunk now, it was nice to hear those words, and it felt nice to say them as well. She probably won't remember him saying that to her by tomorrow, and everything would be the same as before. She would be lucky to remember anything actually; he heard that if someone drinks too much or if they had a real low tolerance for it, they end up forgetting what they did and end up with a nasty hang over. That, and well, he isn't ready yet to tell her about what he truly is anyway, _"Who knows how she, or anyone else for that matter, will respond when they find out I'm half monster."_

He felt her pull away with a bright smile and glossy eyes, and she spoke in a happy tone, "My assistant loves me too, whoo!" and now she was stumbling around the house again, filled with glee, though she almost tripped and fell into the table.

Micah let out a light chuckle, walked up to her and escorted her out-of-it self to her bed and said, "Well, I think you had enough fun for one day, I think you should get some sleep," and this time she just nodded her head. Guess she used up her energy, or the alcohol was finally making her sleepy, well, she'll have fun tomorrow morning.

After he helped her to bed Micah was about to leave; his job completed with a nice little payment with those sweet words be it her or the vodka. When he reached the wooden door, he felt a nagging feeling rising up in his stomach. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he had a bad feeling about leaving her alone at the moment. He heard that sometimes when you're drunk you can vomit in your sleep and you can choke on it, and well, that really didn't sound good to him.

"I guess it's an assistant's job to take care of his master, be she sober or be she drunk," he said aloud while turning his head over to her, and he saw she was already out like a log. He chuckled at how fast she fell asleep and with that he walked over to the bed, and leaned his back against the wooden frame of the bed. Well, there goes a good night's sleep in his comfy bed, but it's alright. He would much rather be with another person than be alone in his stuffy tree house. He thought, wondering what he should do. Should he come out and say what he is? At the moment he wasn't all that sure, but that wasn't a problem. He'll come to a conclusion sooner or later, though he did have a hunch of what he'll do when the right time comes.

So, he just sat there in the quiet, looking up at the ceiling, thinking things over, and after a while he began to feel sleepy, and well, one can't control when they get drowsy. So, he was out in no time, even though the floor isn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world. Though, he did fall asleep with a smile plastered on his child like face.

And so, the next day came, and our main lead was still currently sleeping, his back still against the wooden baseboard. How he managed to sleep like that was surprising actually, how could someone sleep so long while laying against a hard piece of wood? Guess if you're tired enough you can. Any who, he was awaken by a groggy voice coming from behind him.

When he finally regained conciseness, and moved around so his back was facing the other half of the room. He spotted the elf with a well, not so cheery look on her face, and she asked him, "Guah, why are you here Micah?" yeah, she doesn't remember anything.

"Well, you got drunk so I had to baby-sit you," he said while looking at her face. She lost the drunken look from the other day, and it was replaced with one that screamed, "Please, please just kill me right now."

She raised a hand to her face while saying, "That's what I did last night? No wonder I feel like crap," her tone of voice sounded like one that would belong to a sick person in a clinic. At that moment he was glad that he wasn't the drinking type. Sure he had tried it before, but it didn't taste good at all, what ever it was that Carlos gave him.

"Yeah, just promise me you'll never drink anything like that rainbow vodka again. While I'm at it, don't ever drink anything stronger, who knows what you would do to me," he replied. Just asking weird questions, being weird and painting on his face was one thing, who knows what else a drunken person could do.

She looked at with a, "What are you talking about?" face and then noticed the paint, "Oh, I painted on you huh? Sorry about that. What else did I do?" she asked. She laughed a bit at the paint on his face, it looked like alien whiskers…aliens don't have whiskers, do they? Hmm, that would be an interesting painting…

"Well, besides this," he said while pointing at his face, "You thought the grass I brought was for smoking, you said you drank a rainbow, and you painted that thing," he then pointed at the odd painting on the canvas, "And you thought that I would be taken away to become some alien's wife so you used that as a piece offering."

Daria laughed a bit at what he told her, "Haha, that must have been interesting. I didn't think that rainbow vodka would have been that strong, I guess I shouldn't buy stuff from guys with accents who wear scarf's when it isn't even winter."

"Yeah, I would appreciate that," he said simply while rising up from the floor, and stretching his limbs to get the kinks out from sleeping on the floor all night, "So, do you agree never to buy that stuff again?"

"You don't have to ask that assistant, I learned my lesson," she began while sitting up from her bed, while looking around trying to figure out where her hat disappeared to, "I've never been hung over before, and I'm not liking it at all."  
"I don't think anyone likes a hangover Daria," he replied to her. He might have never had one, but he has seen the effects of it, and well, they never looked like much fun. What was the point of drinking something that could make you feel like crap?

"Yeah," she said while moving her neck around, she must have a kink in it, "Did I do anything else?"

He thought back to that one line that he was certainly not expecting at all, but decided it was best not to bring it up. He wasn't exactly sure of just what he should do about their relationship at the moment, "No, that's it. After I took you to bed, you where out like a log."

"I think I'll go back to being a log now. Sleeping will probably do the trick," she stated to him, hoping that would be the only thing she would need to get back on her feet and being the same old person everyone was used to. Being in bed while thinking that being dead sounded better certainly didn't go well with her.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea as well. Just sleeping and drinking water I think will help you, though I'm not quite sure how well that will work," he stated with a smile and a light laugh.

"Yeah, I hope so," she said simply while laying back down getting ready to get some more needed sleep to get over this hung over, "I expect you to come over to check up on me assistant, and to of course bring me food," she said, well, more like demanded.

"Don't worry, it is an assistant's job to do so," and with those words he head towards the door, and opened the said thing. Though, before he completely left the house of the eccentric artist, he said one last thing while turning his head back towards her, "See you later," and so after that the door was shut. It was time for him to get to work, and he would need to determine what he'll make for lunch.

Now that he was gone, all she said to the lonely house, "Now just where the hell did my hat go? That, and way is there colored grass all over the floor? I guess I'll have Micah clean that up later. And why do I feel like I said something I shouldn't have?"

She just had this feeling telling her she said something the other day, but whatever it was she just couldn't remember it. She really can't remember past her trying out the vodka and getting seriously drunk off of it, who knew rainbow-colored water could be that strong? Maybe she should have asked that strange scarf-wearing guy how strong that stuff was before she bought it? Too bad he ran off as fast as he could with a freaked out look on his face after hearing someone say, "Brother, let's get married! Let's get married right now!"

"Ah well, if it was something bad, I think Micah would have told me," and with that she turned on her side and decided to go to bed, "Maybe it has something to do with my hat? Oh my hat, where did you go?" and off she went to sleepy land without knowing where her beloved hat disappeared to, why there was grass everywhere, nor the words that she spoke that has certainly affected Micah's life.

The End

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**Well, that's it for this certainly odd piece, frankly I don't even know if I portrayed a drunken person correctly or not for I never interacted with a person like that. Besides that, I don't even know the point of this, it was just going to be completely random for the situation that made it was random, but I somehow managed to incorporate fluffiness into it, I hope that part wasn't too, well, out of place. This didn't exactly turn out like I thought it would, but oh well, this was just something I really didn't take too seriously. At least I hope I kept the characters in well, character. Oh, and someone should be able to guess who sold Daria the rainbow vodka. Anyhow, I hoped you enjoyed this random and unexpectedly fluffy little piece, and of course, please review so I can read what your opinion of this was! **


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